DO IT SCARED

This season has been so hard for me. It was was and is a huge win to be approved for this loan. It’s allowing me to go out there and build out my dream ; my first restaurant. However, I would be lying if I said that even with the funding, the myriad of task that come with starting a project such as this doesn’t feel overwhelming . This is my first concept and the first time that I am hiring a manager .I am the CEO and its awesome but it also means the buck stops here with me . In the midst of the endless thoughts that are running through my head, I had this revelation about myself. My time management sucks because by focus is lacking . Because I struggle with focusing , task drag on beyond allocated time for said project. My sub consciousness will not allow me to really commit to time mangement because my sub consciousness has a history with my inability to focus and operate within parameters. to set boundaries and set task to finish within those boundaries would be setting myself for disappointment as the task would not be complete , time would be wasted and I would have “failed”. This tactic spurred by my lack of focus is the mind protecting me from failure. I am going to reverse this by timing all of my task, and setting time parameters for all of my task . I don’t know every thing I need to know to run this restaurant the best way possible , however I am committed to each day learning and implementing every actionable step I learn from moving forward.

Do it scared.

Peace.

B spot Express

Today I met with my project manager and a contractor to look over the hood. Honestly even at this point feels surreal to think that I am opening a restaurant. I took some time this week to just sit with my feelings and analyze why I am so doubtful of what is happening & of myself . I realized that it has been so long that I have been saying I am going to open this restaurant without it actually coming into fruition , that I have started to doubt myself or wonder if it was ever going to happen . Working in the trenches for so long , it has been hard to walk in / accept my new role as Owner and Co-founder. Even becoming a father this year has been surreal. Three months in, the responsibility and privilege to be a father is still hard to own and to believe that I am qualified to see through. This helpless little being is looking to me to provide shelter , love , care and protection. Part of the Alce’ name is tied to him. It feels that is the same for this journey of being a restaurateur. Because of my current context and what has been reality for me for over a decade, the idea of me protecting , developing and now bring into fruition this vision of opening my own restaurant and starting a restaurant group just seems like such a vast responsibility that is beyond me. I have been sharing with my wife when she doubts her ability to be a mother that is the very anxiety and worry about her role and ability in motherhood that makes her equipped. She cares so much and sees the vast responsibility of a good mother , that it causes her to doubt if she can reach that level of motherhood. That fear causes her to then strive to be better. I am taking my own advice in this new season. Because I am cognizant to the vast shift in how I move and the weight of leadership and building , this awareness and worry in and of itself makes me worthy . Not because I am perfect ,but rather that I am aware that I am not and will push myself daily to be better and up to the task .

Peace

Excellence

Isadore sharp , the Founder of The Four Seasons , is attributed as the originator of this quote: “Excellence is the ability to endure pain.” When I heard this, initially it didn’t make sense to me . I associate the definitiion of excellence to the highest level of performance or quality. How does pain endurance relate to this ? When I thought over it more, it clicked. The achievement of a great product , a great athlete , business, etc. requires a lot of work and commitment for a long period of time. The work that goes into high level performance is at times painful. In order to reach the end you need keep that pace and commitment . hence the definition of excellence . If phrased as a math problem it would read as such : Excellence = (High level work + time ) complete effort sustained over a prolonged period of time will always create to some extend discomfort. As I navigate this season , I am in , it has to be one of the most uncomfortable times in my life . Everything seems so clear and so uncertain at the same time . This juxtaposing of state of mind and circumstance is exhilarating and depressing . With a wife and baby , so much doubt and fear tries to creep in . Daily is the battle for sanity and peace . I want to be great . I want to leave behind a legacy and if the path to this outcome is achieved through the pursuit of excellence , then this path I will continue . Stay hungry .

Chips on shoulders

I am obsessed with podcast. Specifically sports , worlds new events , finance and businss/ entrepreneurs. I was listening to a podcast called “Founders” and it is a fantastic podcast about founders and the beginning of their companies. The last episode I was listening to was about James Dyson , the founder of Dyson vacuum cleaners. Within this episode. The host dropped this quote from where I cannot remember where he got it. The goes as follows : “Chips on shoulders , turn to chips in the pocket”. Recently I have been feeling vindictive . As inch closer to the opening of my first restaurant , the primary thought that has taken real estate in my mind and thoughts is the rejection. There have been so many rejections that have been in my path since I have started to raise funds to open this restaurant. Some have been straight out “nos” , which I actually appreciate; This is a clear redirect to another door that will have what I need. Others have jerked me around with a bunch of bs meetings and pleasantries all to end up in a disappearance . These are the most annoying . Honestly it just pisses me off. However, right now , all of these instances my mind has metabolized and turned into fuel. Everything. Every employee who I hired and walked out the back door, ( this was actually a thing during covid, I found out it was a way to be able to continue to claim unemployment ) the team members who just quit and never showed up, the team members who stole money form me . All of the crap I have endured recently I have internalized and used as fuel. I’m not angry; It’s just more of a reason to succeed. It makes the story that much sweeter. After almost 10 years in this business, I finally feel like i’m in my groove

Adventure

This past Friday , I made a trip to Tulsa Oklahoma , for my sister’s graduation. It was a beautiful time; Seeing my sister walk across the stage was such a great moment. The only emotion that really explains the way I feel is joy . My little sister has worked so hard and to see her walk and be accepted into the grad school she wanted to go to is amazing . As I write this , I am sitting in the airport waiting for our flight back . Originally , the plan was to just send a gift and not go . It’s been hard financially as Janea and I plan for the baby and with growing the restaurant . However , my mom told me my sister was hurt initially when she heard she might not see me. This trip reminded me of what I really want in life and what makes me feel alive ……. Adventure . The journey or growing this restaurant concept really is appealing not just for the passion of the concept of itself but rather the energy of movement . The prospect of traveling and seeing new parts of the country is some thing seems amazing . #Stayhngry

Family

• This process is coming to a culmination. 15 years ago the process started with a small caribbean restaurant in Redlands , Ca. I don’t think any of us knew that the journey would lead to this moment. Looking at current space we are in (literally and figuratively) and thinking about where we are , it’s definitely just a surreal moment. Times are tough; Creating a concept or bringing any vision to fruition will bring with it trails and road bumps. However , looking at what the future holds and thinking about walking into that new space of life with my family by my side is so exciting and amazing to think about . #hngry.